Advertisements that Suck – part 1

What role advertising plays for a company and its product’s introduction and growth is something we all know. Considering the television medium, there cannot be a better way of reaching out to everyone out there. You literally get a chance to go into each household and showcase your product, no matter what you are selling.

But the current lot of advertisements include a chunk of bullshit ideas being transformed into moving images enough to put you off television for good. I hate watching television and these ads encourage me to hate it more. Here I’ve collected together worst five of those ads which are flogging the idiot box right now.

1. Coca-Cola

A company like Coca-Cola which has been around for a while and has shelled out money enough to start another firm bigger than itself has had some bearable ads in the past. Lets talk about the very recent one where you have seen Kalki Koechlin a.k.a. Chandramukhi and Imran Khan a.k.a. Robot communicating with each other through sign language, their medium being thirst. Having Imran Khan who I consider the Indian-Chris Gayle emote something can only crack you up. He is so expressionless that Coke could have had deaf and dumb people telling you to gulp the drink. Flop idea which the company felt could be a successful sequel to a similar ad involving two random students in a library. Atleast there are no expectations from them.

2. Himani Navratna cool talc

Don’t blame me for this product having such a shitty name. Anyways, endorsed by superstar Shah Rukh Khan who takes pride in the fact that he is cool because his body is covered with the Himani product. For celebrities advertisements become an easy way to recover finances. I know for SRK there is no need to do this as his grandchildren are also rich but he atleast needs to get back what he spent monkeying around as the owner of an ever-losing team Knight Riders. Nothing else would make him do an ad that has no meaning. Even the audiences feel claustrophobic watching his elevator duplicate act. The advertisement is even worse than the last one by the same company where we have Kailash Kher wailing the constipation song. SRK, is this the post-Asperger’s Syndrome effect or you chose the wrong sport? – start again, this time with women’s hockey team maybe.

3. Axe deodorants

Initially what came as a fresh idea to promote a deo spray has now been exaggerated so much that you end up saying ‘no not again‘. Showcasing lack of creativity by having the same idea repeat over and over again with different stinkheads spraying axe to lure a bunch of desperate chicks is not always a good idea. Some fellow had filed a case against the company because even after emptying the whole thing on himself no chick smelled him, and now the person expects the company to pay him compensation. I don’t know what happened after that. When you know such dumbnuts also have access to watch ads, then why mess. For giving masculine deos a whole new meaning, serves you right – Hindustan Unisewer!

4. Idea – oongli cricket

Just because the cute zoozoos can hog the limelight everyday, Abhishek Bachchan thinks he can do the same. bah! If not for anyone else, IPL has done real good to this dude. Its known he is nowhere close to how an actor should look or rather act. Anyways there is nobody offering him any scripts based on these factors. So being a superstar’s son he gets to bang the miss world, and shoot for this advertisement everyday to kill time. Even after being bugged by the ad all the time I don’t know what this damn oongli cricket is. Thats fine, but as we have to watch junior bachchan trying to finger himself, he atleast needs to wear a mask to cover his ugly face. What an idea, sirji?

5. J. K. Super Cement

You buy our cement because we provide you that cheap adrenaline rush. The management at Juggilal Kamplapat decides to let an unattractive bitch in beachwear rise out of sea and walk towards the camera. No wait, walk towards you. What the fuck! It ends there with the tagline – vishwas hai, isme kuch khaas hai – which translates to – there is trust, there is something special in it. Fucking ace! We trust a product whose makers fooled us just half a second back. Then they expect you to have their cement lay the foundation of your house. Fuck you J. K., use the same to cement your ass-hole.

This post is just one part of all the dump on television and expect more coming your way, after all Paa is not far behind in being shameless. All these companies should begin by sending their ad film-makers to Vodafone to learn a few tricks. While others have just one idea for 365-days, Vodafone has 365 outstanding ones. And then they can come back and thank me for the advice.

Articles galore :

Advertisements that Suck – Part 2

Issue Paper

category – Diverse Articles


About Itihas Shetty

Is a verbomaniac. And a human being. And that's where the problem begins. View all posts by Itihas Shetty

19 responses to “Advertisements that Suck – part 1

  • G

    Fvcking ace dude… other honorable mentions are … Mountain due (Dar ke age jeeth hai? wtf? Dar ke age mauth hai gadhe!!)

    Hero Honda CBZ where the dude is trying the reach an island via jumping over cargo ships .. then the ultimate tagline ‘Thinking is such a waste of time’ (and jumping in to the sea) WTF?

    Finally The Pepsi ad.. The Bresident wants Bebsi … WTF? No words .. but Sunjay Dutt’s ‘President ki tho leli , ab meri leke dika’ .. I have no words for this moron..

  • hemal

    kickass.lmao @ oongli cricket part.

    nowadays everythings fvcked up on the “the shtuff thats worth on tv”

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  • Leone

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  • Robena Patman

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  • Utkarsh

    Too good…..absolutely fantastic. I’m splitting my guts here reading this.

  • Utkarsh

    Oh already did…

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